I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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