what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
