So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
