Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall

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(630): View more from Illinois

i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"

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(805): View more from California

not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone

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(815): View more from Illinois

I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them

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(419): View more from Ohio

This town reeks of teen pregnancy.

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