garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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