So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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