UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
