please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Randomize
