Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My boob is missing a layer of skin
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is Oprah even human
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize