I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize