So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
