I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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