So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
