Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to make a zoo with you.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
