Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
