Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
