I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
