i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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