im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
