she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
