I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
