shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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