I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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