we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
porn star boner night. come get it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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