I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
