My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
