I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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