Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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