If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
