Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have fence marks all over my body
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
