What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize