My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
