dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
