sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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