We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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