No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
