She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
