I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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