Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
