if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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