Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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