I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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