i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
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