You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i will never coherently bang her
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
