The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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