I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize