If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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