if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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