Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
