He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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