I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize