How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
