my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
