So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Boobs are out for the taking
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
