Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think people are normalizing furries
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