Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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