I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
