Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
