Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
