I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
