This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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