No, drunk sperm still make babies.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize