So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
