It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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