i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I supernannyed him into submission
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
