Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Success! We fucked roommates!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
