Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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