But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
