Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
